Behind Locked Doors
by fanfictionswhore
Summary: Dear nobody, I am mentally laughing at myself now. I never thought that I would be the kind of a girl to write in a diary. I need to vent somehow though so I figured I would give this diary thing a shot. You see, dear diary, I am broken.
1. Chapter One First Entrance

**A/N My first Twilight fan fic. Review plz. I hope you like it.**

**I do not own Twilight. Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer.**

**Behind Locked Doors**

Chapter One First Entrance

_Dear nobody,_

_I am mentally laughing at myself now. I never thought that I would be the kind of a girl to write in a diary. I need to vent somehow though so I figured I would give this diary thing a shot. You see, dear diary, I am broken. I am one broken soul and so I made my body broken or at least I tried to. I tried really hard too so it sucks that I'm still breathing._

_How does one continuing living after losing everything? I lost my home where I grew up and all my memories disappeared with that house. All the things I kept from my childhood. I lost it all. I wish that I could say that the fact that I lost all of my belongings was the worst of it; it is not though._

_I lost my husband._

_He was everything, my life and my soul. He was my whole life and when I lost him, I lost my will to live._

_I cannot write for too long because it hurts when I do. My arms are bandaged you see and it makes it difficult to write. Do not take pity in me, I did it to myself. I tried but I failed. They know that I will keep on trying so they locked me up. I am not to be trusted. I hate them._

**Dear Miss Swan,**

**I do not know if they will give you this letter. I only recently found out that you're located in a mental institute, had I known sooner I would have contacted you of course. My dear Bella, I feel only sorrow when I think of what you have been through and what you still are going through. **

**I wonder if you even remember me and if you do, do you think of me fondly or do you hate me for being one to leave you. After all I did promise I never would leave you. **

**Are you allowed to have visitors? Maybe I shall take the train and go visit you myself. Would you enjoy such thing? Be well my dearest Bella.**

**Sincerely, Rosalie Hale Cullen**


	2. Chapter Two Second Entrance

**A/N: I do not own Twilight.**

**Behind Locked Doors**

Chapter Two Second Entrance

Dear nobody,

_I received a letter today. It was from Rosalie. It was signed Rosalie Hale Cullen and as soon as I saw her signature I knew that she was now married. I do not know why she calls me Miss Swan when I am no longer a Swan. She claims to care for me but I know that she doesn't. After all why would she?_

_Maybe I should write back. It would be nice to have a visitor, after all._

_No I am not going to write back. I have no desire to see that woman again, ever. She has what I was supposed to have. How long until she becomes pregnant? Probably not long. I have no desire to see her expecting or to even see her glowing from marital bliss. I was glowing myself once but not anymore, after all one cannot glow without a husband and I lost mine._

_I dream about him, you know. In those dreams he tells me he loves me and that he always will. He wants me to be happy, he says and I tell him that I can't be happy without him in my life._

_I wake up crying and then I'm shaking and then I am screaming and then they come and they put those needles in me that makes me calm and so I stop feeling anything for a while. _

_This morning a new patient arrived to this hell hole so I finally have a roommate. I do not know why she is here though, we have yet not spoken. They call her Alice so that must be her name. Alice. I wonder about her history, I hope she'll tell me because I was raised not to be openly curious and nosy. It is rude, my father always told me. _

**Dear Miss Swan,**

**I am sorry that you have not wanted to reply to my letter so I am now trying once again to reach out to you. How much do you remember of what happened? I realize that you might be going through those horrible shock treatments and that those may cause some memory loss for you. Or maybe you don't want to write me back. If that is the case then I am sorry. Bella, I am deeply sorry for all the pain I may have caused you. It was never my intention to hurt you and that you must know. **

**You probably could tell from my last letter that I am now indeed a married woman. Yes I married him, Bella. I care for him deeply, you must know that. I am not sorry that I married him. He takes care of me and makes me happy. I am still sorry that I hurt you though.**

**I would like to visit you. I may come to the asylum soon.**

**Sincerely, Rosalie Hale Cullen**

_Today I received yet another letter from Mrs. Cullen and I read it and then I crumpled it up into a ball and threw it on the floor. I then lay down on my hard bed, there isn't much furniture in this room, you see. To my surprise and delight my roommate spoke to me then._

_"Bad news?" she asked me sitting up on her bed._

_"No, not really," I answered looking at her._

_They had yet to shave her head I noticed; my own brown curls were long gone by now. I was used to it by now._

_"It's just someone I wish would stop writing me," I decided to explain a little. "We used to be friends, I guess." I shrugged._

_The pixie like young woman with long black hair looked at me. She looked so tiny and maybe she wasn't a woman maybe she was merely a child._

_"I'm Alice," she said quietly._

_"Bella," I said._

_Alice looked down on her hands._

_"Have you… Have you been here…? For how long have you been here?" she finally managed to get the words out._

_"Time ceases to exist after a while," I said. "I guess it might be months. The treatments really tamper with your memory."_

_Ah those treatments. I always screamed but I welcomed them because they made me forget. They made me forget the pain._

_"T-treatments?" Alice's eyes widened. _

_"Yes, the shock treatments," I said. "Don't worry you'll get used to them after awhile."_

_"Why are you here?"_

_All those questions she asked me. I didn't mind answering them though._

_"Ah," I said. "Well apparently I am depressed and a risk for myself and others around me. I would never hurt someone else."_

_I would hurt myself though if I ever had the chance again. _

_"I have visions," Alice whispered. "Mother and Father committed me to this place because of them. They call me a witch."_

_Alice has visions? Maybe she was insane and did belong here._

_"I must not speak of them," she mumbled._

_Oh, Alice you better not._


	3. Chapter Three Third Entrance

**A/N: I do not own Twilight.**

**Behind Locked Doors**

Chapter Three Third Entrance

_Dear nobody,_

_I don't know what day it is. I can never date these notes. Today Alice had her first treatment and she didn't speak for a long time when she came back. I heard her screams, I always hear the screams. Every day here is the same to me. My bandages are long gone; I do not need them anymore. My wounds have healed. I wish I could see what I look like these days but I am not allowed to have a mirror in here. I know why and when Alice asked me I told her the truth. If there was a mirror I would smash myself into it and then I would grab a piece and start cutting myself. I showed her my scars and she looked frightened._

_"If you're not insane when you come here you will get insane," I told her._

_I am not insane. Not yet. I have a feeling that I will be though. I have seen other patients here – only briefly of course but if you look into their eyes you see it. They look mad. I am sure that there are rooms where the most insane people are kept. They lock us all up; we only get out when we are allowed to shower, which is not very often and when we have visitors. I never get visitors though. I wish they would let us walk outside; I want to feel the sun on my face. I miss the sun. I even miss the rain. _

_Today they asked me if I still want to hurt myself and I didn't know if I should be honest or not so I said nothing. They told me that I have been here for almost six months now and that if I were to cooperate then I would finally be released. I don't believe them. I know that I am here for life. _

_It's a new day now. I know this because they told me earlier that it was a Saturday and that I had a visitor. I was shocked when they told me someone was here to see me. _

_They took me to a little room where there were a wooden table and two chairs sitting across from each other. They pushed me down on one of the chairs. I was never left alone in that room and when my visitor came in through the doors we were never left alone. I am a risk to others after all. I am not to be trusted. _

_My visitor walked in and sat down on the other side of the table smiling. My fists turned into balls under the table and I gritted my teeth. I immediately decided not to speak._

_"Bella," Rosalie smiled at me._

_She was wearing a blue dress, his favorite color I remembered that, and her blonde hair were in a knot under her hat. She was wearing laced gloves and her cheeks were rosy from excitement._

_"My husband sends his regards," Rosalie said carefully watching my reaction and so did the other two people in the room._

_If I were to have an outburst they needed two people to control me. I nodded and Rosalie looked relieved at that._

_Her gloved hands were clasped together on the table._

_"You look good," she said and I almost hit her pretty little face._

_I wanted to hit her. I wanted to maul that face and make it bloody and damaged. I wanted her to be scarred just like I was. I was never ever going to be pretty._

_I wanted to spit in her face. Oh what a joy that would be._

_"Do they serve any good food here?" Rosalie asked._

_I decided to speak._

_"What do you think?" I spat. "Yes this is heavenly where the food tastes deliciously and everything is bliss." I rolled my eyes._

_Rosalie huffed._

_"There is no reason for you to be rude, Bella."_

_"Oh but there is," I said my eyes boring into hers._

_And I could see it in her eyes – I actually frightened her. She was afraid of me. Did I look like those insane people now?_

_"I am sorry," Rosalie began but I held one of my hands up._

_"You are sorry? Of all the things to say you say that you are sorry? You mean that you didn't mean to ruin my life, Rosalie? You didn't hurt me on purpose, right?"_

_I stood up and instantly strong arms were grabbing me. I was pulled out of the room and they threw me in my room that I shared with Alice._

_"What happened?" she asked._

_She was sitting cross-legged on her bed. I sat down on my bed pulling my legs up under me eyeing my scars on my arms._

_"She said she was sorry," I hissed. "Of all the things she could have told me she says that. You can't apologize for what she did to me. Sorry isn't enough. Oh and she told me that he sends his regards," I said sarcastically._

_"Oh," Alice said. "I am sorry it didn't go well. Do you think she will be back?"_

_I never told Alice the names of the persons I spoke of and she didn't really know everything. I never told her what happened. _

_"I hope not," I muttered._


	4. Chapter Four Fourth Entrance

**A/N: This is pure fan fiction. **

**I do not own Twilight.**

**Behind Locked Doors**

Chapter Four Fourth Entrance

_Dear nobody,_

_Once again I had a visitor. Although it is two months since Rosalie was here. Today though someone else came into that room where I was waiting. At first I wanted to throw myself into his arms and feel the familiar scent but then I realized that I couldn't. He was not mine to hug like that._

_"Hello," he said politely when he sat down on the other side of the table._

_"Hi," I whispered._

_I tried to stay calm because this was a visit that I wanted to have. But at the same time I wanted him to leave me alone._

_"I do not want her to come here," I said shortly._

_He didn't look surprised at that._

_"I understand," he said simply._

_I could see in his eyes that he did indeed understand._

_"Bella," he said softly._

_My hands were lying on the table and he gently grabbed them in his warm hands._

_"I know that you might not want to hear this but I am deeply sorry for this. I know that sorry isn't a word that you might want to hear but I don't know what else to say," he said looking down at our joined hands._

_I already knew that he was sorry. I knew that he cared for me and no matter how sad it is I still care for him. No, that's not true. I still love him._

_"My mother sends her regards," he said._

_I had always liked his mother – she was unlike his father a kind person. She was warm and loving and I missed her. But no matter how kind his mother was it was his father that ruled that household and his father never approved of me. I was not suitable for their son. I was not from a good family. I was no Rosalie Hale._

_"Tell her I send my regards too," I said quietly._

_"Miss Swan visitation is over," one of the men standing in the corner said and I sighed deeply._

_And with a light kiss on my cheek Edward walked out through the door._

_Shortly after his visit I received a letter from Edward. I felt such happiness that I actually hugged the letter to my chest once I finished reading it. Alice stared at me questions in her eyes and I just smiled at her. He had written me a letter._

**My Dearest Bella,**

**I enjoyed seeing you the other day. Despite everything you don't look unwell; I must admit that I was afraid to see you. Maybe you would not look like my Bella anymore. You still look like my Bella. I do not care that they shave your hair – to me you will always be beautiful. I realize it is wrong of me to write so intimately to you. I am a married man after all. Then again my wife would not approve of me writing to you and she would certainly not approve of me visiting you. I intend though to come again but I will tell her that it's best that she let you be. I hope she will listen to me.**

**I hope I don't cause you more pain by visiting you. I am afraid that I simply cannot stay away from you, Bella. Oh how I wish things was different.**

**Edward**

_He had called me his Bella and I truly was. I had always been his. I would always be his Bella. I wanted no other. The fact that he was to visit me again filled my heart with joy. Oh how I long to see him again! I want to tell him that he will always have my heart but I can't. You don't tell a married man such thing. _

_I wonder… do you introduce yourself when writing in a diary? Maybe someone will read this one day. Maybe I should tell you a little about myself?_

_Here I go. My name is Isabella Marie Swan and I am eighteen years old. I came to this institute when I was seventeen but I know that my birthday has passed because I was almost eighteen when I was committed. One might wonder how I ended up here. I am sorry for that is not something I wish to tell at the moment. I wish to forget the pain. Seeing and hearing from Edward brings the pain back put it is worth it because I love him so. Anyways I was born 1918 on June 22__nd__ and I had a happy childhood until something made me grow up way too fast and I no longer had a family. I became an orphan and then later on I met Edward. I wish to not speak of that. For a brief moment however my last name was Cullen and to me it always will be. I am no longer a Swan._

_So I guess that is it for now. I am now going to sleep and hope that those nightmares will stay away. Please just for one night._

**My Dearest Bella,**

**I am sorry that it has been so long. I do hope I can visit you soon though. You see I had to leave town for awhile and I was gone longer than I thought I would be. That is also why I haven't written to you until now. I do hope you are well.**

**I will see you soon.**

**Edward**

**A/N: I posted more then I orginally intended to; I just hope you like it. **

**Reviews makes me smile...**

***Play***


	5. Chapter Five Fifth Entrance

**A/N: Thank you for your reviews=) **

**I do not own Twilight.**

**Behind Locked Doors**

Chapter Five Fifth Entrance

_Dear nobody,_

_It has been a long time now since I last got a letter and Edward has still yet to visit me. He must be busy with other things. I hope he will come soon. _

_I wonder why no one else bothers to visit me; maybe Rosalie has told everyone about my frightening eyes? Maybe she tells everyone that I am mad. I do not know. I know that I did have friends once. Before this hell whole became my reality. I guess they no longer are my friends. It is sad to think about. I lost all of my friends. I miss them._

_I got another treatment yesterday – I'm numb nowadays to the pain, I just don't feel it that much anymore. After all there are things that hurt more. I still scream though, I always scream just like all the others here._

_Alice actually got a visitor last Saturday, at first when the caretaker opened the door to our room I thought someone was here for me. I was hoping that it would be Edward and I nearly smiled, and then the caretaker told Alice that she had a visitor. I did feel happy for her though that she finally got a visitor; I was just sad that I wasn't. I hope he comes soon. I am longing to seeing his face._

_The thing is when Alice got back to our room she looked almost scared and she was all pale and refused to meet my eyes. I wondered who the visitor had been. I know nothing about her family or if she has any friends out there. She only told me that her mother and father sent her here. I won't ask though, I figure that if she wants to tell me she will. _

_Alice isn't my first roommate here though; there was a girl before her. She was here when I came to this dreadful place and we didn't really talk much. Her name was Anna and she was sixteen. One day though she just wasn't in our room anymore and when I asked a caretaker she told me that Anna wouldn't come back. I hoped they had released her but later on I found out that she had died. I was very sad to hear that but I stopped asking about Anna after that. I don't know for how long it was just me alone in the room but then along came Alice and it did feel nice to not be alone anymore. I never expected us to become friends though._

_I'm trying really hard to remember my parents but my memory of them is fading away. I no longer remember my mom's voice for example and it saddens me. The thing is that when something unexpected happens to those you love you never do get the chance to say goodbye; I never got to say goodbye to my parents and it hurts. I didn't cry at the funeral but after I cried so much that my entire body was hurting. Pain was all I felt. Then I was taken and placed in an orphanage and I never really got out of there until I married. The day I met Edward I instantly fell in love with him. I was almost sixteen then and he was eighteen and we were so much in love. I smiled every night back then when I went to sleep. I rarely smile these days._


	6. Chapter Six Sixth Entrance

**A/N: Thank you for reading.**

**I do not own Twilight.**

**Behind Locked Doors**

Chapter Six Sixth Entrance

_Dear nobody,_

_Today I had a visitor and as I am writing this I am smiling. I saw him today and even though those visits we get never last long I really cherish all the time I get with him._

_I was taken to that room again with the table and the two chairs and as I waited for my visitor to appear I really was hoping that it would be Edward. I think that if it had been Rosalie I would have been really upset because I really, really don't want to see her. I just know though that she is going to be in that room with me again, sooner or later. _

_Edward smiled at me as he walked into the room and sat down._

_"Hello, Bella," he said. How are you today?"_

_I blushed and then I was completely honest._

_"I'm good. Now," I said looking down at the table._

_"I'm glad to hear that," he said and then just like he had done last time he took my hands in his._

_I felt my heart pound in my chest._

_"You know, Bella," he said. "I know that this is so wrong for me to say, as a married man I shouldn't show affection towards any woman other than my wife. I still feel the need to tell you that you have been in my thoughts though. You and I have never been anything less than honest with each other and I do not wish to start to keep things from you."_

_My mouth suddenly felt dry. I did not know what to say._

_"Bella the day that you and I became husband and wife was the best day in my life. I need for you to know that."_

_"Mine too," I whispered quietly looking into his eyes now._

_"I promised to take care of you and I broke that promise," Edward said quietly._

_I blinked. I did not want to cry. I would let my tears fall freely down my cheeks later when I was back in my room._

_"Edward," I said softly. "It's not your fault. You know who's to blame for things being like the way they are now."_

_"Oh Bella, you think too highly of me. I should have done things…different. I am not saying that Rosalie is not a good wife to me because she is but… She is not you."_

_I bit my lip and I really did try to come up with something to say._

_"I mustn't say things like that to you, I am sorry. Please forgive me," Edward said ashamed._

_I wanted to stand up and walk around the table and put my arms around his neck and tell him that he indeed could tell me such things. I didn't mind. I wanted him to hold me and I wanted to tell him everything that I wanted him to know. How much I love him still and that I always will. _

_"Edward…," I started to say but then a caretaker interrupted me._

_"Miss Swan it is time for you to get back to your room."_

_I wanted to hit that caretaker. I wanted more time with Edward._

_I nodded and stood up and Edward bent over the table and just like he had done last time he kissed my cheek._

_"Goodbye my Bella," he said and I swallowed hard, I was about to cry. "I will see you soon." Then he was gone._

_Alice wasn't in our room when I got back but I did not worry; she was probably just having a treatment or something._

**My Dearest Bella,**

**I am deeply sorry for how I behaved last time I saw you. It was wrong of me to be so forward. Then again what I think and feel is also wrong of me. It is so much easier for me to write this then to say it straight to you. I should however not write what I am about to write to you; it is very wrong of me to do so. **

**Bella, I am ashamed over myself and my family. If I only could go back in time and do things differently. I would fight for you this time and I would keep my promise to you and do everything that I could do for you to be happy. However I cannot change what once have been. I wish I could though, if you only knew how much. **

**There are so many things I am sorry for; I am sorry that I let you go, that I let us go and I am sorry that I didn't were a better man for you. I am also sorry that I never really let you know how much you meant to me. I loved you from the second that I laid my eyes on you Bella, and that is the honest truth. I really shouldn't be writing this; it is by far very inappropriate.**

**I think of you more than I should. I should not think about you. I can't seem to stop though. I wish I would see you smile again. I love your smile; when you're smiling your eyes are smiling too and you look so beautiful then. You always look beautiful but I'm sure that you know that.**

**I must now go. This letter is a bit too long. **

**If you wish to write me back then you cannot write to my house – you must send the letter to where I now work. I will write down the address for you at the bottom of this letter.**

**Edward**

**_Dear Edward,_**

**_You have nothing to be sorry for. I wish for you to speak as freely as you would like when you and I see each other. There is not a thing that you cannot tell me, Edward and you must know that. I am sorry that our meetings are so short and that we never really can speak without having others around us. _**

**_I wonder for how long I am going to be here. I want out. Of course I want to get out of here, but then again what will I come out to? I am sorry but I would not be able to see you with Rosalie. If I ever do get out that is. If you were my husband then you would have been able to get me released I think. But then again if you still were my husband then I probably wouldn't have been here to begin with. It doesn't matter, married or not I am never to be a Swan again. However I am not sure that I could call myself a Cullen either, after all Rosalie is your wife and she has your last name. I guess I am just Isabella Marie No Last Name now or simply just Bella. I think I'd prefer the latter in that case._**

**_Be safe. I'll hope to see you soon._**

**_Bella_**


	7. Chapter Seven Seventh Entrance

**A/N: I hope you like my story. Reviews makes me smile;)**

**I do not own Twilight.**

**Behind Locked Doors**

Chapter Seven Seventh Entrance

_Dear nobody,_

_I have written my first letter to Edward. He told me in his letter that I would be able to write to the place where he works if I'd ever want to reply to his letters. And so I did write to him. He should have gotten my letter by now. I wonder when I will see him next. Soon I hope. _

_Alice is still not back in our room and I did ask about her but they only told me that she was located somewhere else for now. I wonder where. I really hope they haven't put her near those mad people. Those people are that kind of people that does indeed belong in such place like this. It is sad but true. I wish I knew more about my roommate. I wonder about those visions she mentioned that she apparently have; I am intrigued to know more however I will not ask. If my parents are in heaven and they're looking down on me I want them to be proud of me and so I will do as I have been told to do. I will behave as they told me to do. I will try to at least. The room is empty without Alice in it. I want her to come back. We never did talk much but the presence of someone else in a room can do so much. I never felt lonely with Alice there; I do now however. Oh Alice, please come back!_

**_Dear Edward,_**

**_I do not have anyone else that I can talk to so therefore I am now writing to you. My roommate here has been away from our room for quite a while now and I am getting worried. I also miss the presence of another being in the room. I miss my roommate. I do not know much about her though. This is a long shot but do you think that you maybe could ask around a little? I just wish to know that she is okay; they don't tell us much here. I would know though if she were no longer alive because then they would have told me so when I asked about her. I only know a little about her but I will tell you what I know and maybe you can help me then. You know that I don't usually would ask for this kind of thing but Alice is the closest I have these days of having a friend. Yes her name is Alice… She got a visitor once, actually not to long before she just disappeared from our room and the caretakers called her Miss Brandon so her name must be Alice Brandon. It was her mother and her father that committed her here; apparently they think that she is some kind of witch. I do not know much other than that. _**

**_I hope you are well._**

**_Bella_**

**My Dearest Bella,**

**I do not have time to answer to your letters at the time; I will though. However regarding your friend I shall see what I can find out. I will write to you as soon as I know something. **

**I must also inform you that I cannot visit you for at least a week from now on. I am sorry about that. **

**Edward**

**_Dear Edward,_**

**_Thank you for your help regarding Alice. All is now well, she came back to our room last night. She seems a bit…different though. I can't even begin to imagine what she has been through. You see there are lunatics here or really insane or mad people but they are not located near our room, thank god. They have mad eyes, sometimes I think it is contagious and that I will get them too. Anyway those more insane people are located in the out grounds of this place; far away from where those who work here resides. Lucky for me that is far away from me._**

**_Anyway I just wanted to write to you to tell you that Alice is back._**

**_I hope to hear from you soon._**

**_Bella_**


	8. Chapter Eight Eighth Entrance

**A/N: Here is another chapter. Thank you for reading. Reviews makes me smile;)**

**I do not own Twilight. I wish I did though;)**

**Behind Locked Doors**

Chapter Eight Eighth Entrance

_Dear nobody,_

_I am shaking as I am trying to write this. Yesterday I got another visitor and his visit is still affecting me. I honestly despise that man – I really hate him. Even though that I do indeed very much hate him now I haven't always felt that way. I have never liked him but after being sent to this hell whole I have really started to despise him. Oh how I hate that bastard. I apologize for writing that word down – my parents would not approve of me calling anyone such thing even though that man is indeed vile and deserves it. _

_I long for a shower. I feel so dirty and I know that I really am. Now though I feel even dirtier then I have ever been because of that man. You see he touched my skin, his fingers touched one of my arms and when he did so he smiled. He was happy that I am scarred. It is clear now that I am never going to leave this place. Since I am no longer a married woman and don't have any family or relatives that is alive I am alone. I have no one that will fight for me. I have no one that will come and get me out. My fate is sealed now and only the one who committed me can release me. I am never going to see the sun again._

_"Miss Swan there is a visitor here for you."_

_Naturally I hoped it was Edward. It wasn't. It was the person that I least wanted to see in the whole world. I was sitting on the hard wooden chair, my heart was pounding hard in my chest and I really, really wished that Edward would walk through that door. My heart almost stopped as the man who was not Edward walked into the room. He was well dressed of course and he looked smugly at me. I felt like I couldn't breathe. This must surely be a nightmare._

_"Miss Swan," he said as he sat down._

_His cold blue eyes were eyeing my brown ones. Then he smiled. Oh how I hated those smiles._

_"How are you today?" he dared to ask me that and I wanted to spit in his face._

_Why did he bother when he was fully aware of the fact that I knew that he didn't care about me? Of course we were not alone so he could not afford to lose face in front of other people. He is after all a well known man in this town. Everyone knows who Dr. Cullen is. Those who do not know him they only see what he wants them to see, after all he rarely shows his true colors. Status and wealth is important to him and I have neither of those two. I have learned that if you have money you can do anything – I learned that the day he sent me here. _

_"There is no reason to be rude, Miss Swan," he said shortly still smiling. "If someone asks you something you answer, it is as simple as that._

_He clasped his hands together on top of the table waiting for me to answer._

_"All right," I said shortly. "I am good, Dr. Cullen," I continued coldly._

_He seemed content with that and nodded._

_"I heard that you had a little accident," he then said and suddenly his fingers were touching my left arm that I had placed on top of the table, tracing my long scars. "I see you have fully recovered."_

_I wanted to scream at him that he had no right to touch me but I couldn't. After all this man in front of me had my life in his hands; if he wished to he would be able to make my life in here a living hell. Maybe he would see to it that I ended up with those who really were insane people and I really didn't want that to happen. Or even worse he would probably see to it that I no longer existed. I knew he was capable of doing such thing. Then again maybe I should let him end this life of mine. Death is after all my salvation and I would no longer feel pain. I would also never get to see Edward again and the thought of that made my heart hurt. No matter the pain it causes me of seeing him or hearing from him I want him to contact me and to see him. I do not want to be without him, ever. _

_Dr. Cullen motioned with his hand for one of the caretakers to come closer to him and then it looked like he stuck him some money and then I was all alone in that room with Edward's father. I was all alone with the man that I hate._

_"Ah alone at last," Dr. Cullen mused and I shuddered. _

_He could do anything to me in that room and if I was to get hurt or worse he would say that it was self-inflicted and that I attacked him and since I was marked as a risk to others people would believe him. Of course Bella would attack Dr. Cullen even though he would have done nothing to deserve that. _

_"I needed to be alone with you, Bella," he said and I hated that he called me that, he had no right to call me by that name but of course he wouldn't call me Miss Swan when it was just the two of us. "You see my dear there are some things I need for you to understand."_

_He was now staring at me and I instantly crossed my arms on the table. I was trying to stay calm even though it was hard – I wanted nothing more than to scream and run away from him. However I knew that I couldn't. _

_"My son and Miss Rosalie are very happy together and I know that there isn't much that you can do from here to try to change that fact but if you ever try something you will regret it. I must also inform you that this is going to be your home from now on, Bella. You see, I have no desire to let such an insane person as yourself out on the streets. You will always belong behind locked doors."_

_"You can't do this…," I whispered and then he laughed._

_"Oh but I can," he said flashing me his bright teeth. "I own this town. I know that, my wife knows that and Edward knows that. Everyone knows that, even you. I also own you, Bella." And with that he leaned across the table. "Don't ever forget that."_


	9. Chapter Nine Ninth Entrance

**A:/N I have decided to post another chapter. I know its a bit short but I decided to post it anyway.**

**I do not own Twilight.**

**Behind Locked Doors**

Chapter Nine Ninth Entrance

_Dear nobody,_

_I have still not heard anything from Edward. I cry much more these days and yesterday I was very close of grabbing my pencil and to try to inflict some pain on myself. I cannot stand this._

_Alice hasn't said anything to me after she came back. Not even hello. I tried to speak to her but when she completely ignored me I gave up my attempts of trying. I wonder what happened to her while she was away. I am as always, not going to ask though. I just wished she would talk to me._

_I have no idea what I should write now. Every part of my body hurts. My brain hurts from all the thinking I have done. Why isn't Edward contacting me? I guess I could write him another letter but it probably won't matter. I don't even know what I should write if I did wrote him one. I just don't know what to do. I feel so alone._

_I am crying now and the tears are dripping down on the page. I do not care. I don't care if the whole page is ruined. I must put my pencil down now however because now I am sobbing and soon I'm going to be shaking uncontrollably. Oh god it hurts so much…_

_It is now hours later and I am really, really tired so this is going to be short. I cried myself to sleep; there isn't much to do here and when I sleep my body doesn't hurt. I woke up when I felt someone touching me._

_"Bella," Alice said and when I opened my eyes I saw her sitting on the edge of my bed. Her nose was red and it looked like she had been crying. "I…I saw something."_

_"Alice," I mumbled opening my eyes. "What do you mean?"_

_"Oh Bella," Alice whispered and covered her face with her hands. "I am so sorry…"_

_Then she stood up and walked over to her bed to lie down. She never told me why she was sorry. I still do not know. I wonder though what she could have done that she had to be sorry for. I hope she is okay._


	10. Chapter Ten Tenth Entrance

**A/N: If you like my story please review. I would like to know if I should continue posting or not. Sorry that this chapter just like chapter nine also is a bit short.**

**I do not own Twilight.**

**Behind Locked Doors**

Chapter Ten Tenth Entrance

**My Dearest Bella,**

**I know that I promised that I would respond to your first letter – however I no longer have it. Someone has stolen it. I do not know who would do such thing. The people I work with are all very nice and polite and I cannot believe that any of them would steel something from me. **

**I spoke with my father and he told me he had seen you. I was not happy to hear that because I know that his visit probably wasn't pleasant for you. I hope he didn't hurt you in any kind of way. **

**Oh god, Bella, I miss you more than you can imagine. I hope that you are well. It is very selfish of me to want that but I can't help that I wish you are missing me as well. I really should not have written that, please forgive me. **

**I hope to see you soon.**

**Edward**

_Dear nobody,_

_I finally, finally got a letter! Edward finally wrote to me. He actually admitted that he misses me and that made me smile. I read his letter over and over again. Oh Edward will you please come visit me soon. I miss you terribly. _

_I asked Alice today if she was okay and she said she was. I am not sure though if I believe her. I still don't know why she woke me up that night. _

**_Edward,_**

**_You have nothing to apologize for. Of course I miss you too. _**

**_I hope to see you soon._**

**_Bella_**


	11. Chapter Eleven Eleventh Entrance

**A/N: So I decided to upload the eleventh chapter of my story. I wasn't going to but I'm doing it anyway. Please review if you like it. **

**I do not own Twilight.**

**Behind Locked Doors**

Chapter Eleven Eleventh Entrance

_Dear nobody,_

_I talked to Alice today. She finally told me and now I am scared. This is not good, that is if what Alice told me is true. I guess I am going to find out soon. If it is true then I already know that I will not be seeing Edward on Saturday. _

_"Bella," Alice said._

_She was biting her bottom lip and hugging her knees._

_"I need for you to know something; it is about that night when I woke you up." She was looking at me carefully watching for my reaction as she continued, "I saw something, I saw you having a visitor and it was not a pleasant visit. Remember I told you that I was sent here because I have visions?"_

_I nodded._

_"It is up to you of course if you choose to believe me or not but I feel like I need to tell you what I saw. As I said you are going to have a visitor and it is going to be on this Saturday. I do not know who your visitor is but I can tell you that it was a blonde woman. She was well dressed and she looked very fancy and she was mad. She was so mad, Bella. She was screaming at you holding something that looked like a letter."_

_I was now staring at Alice and I knew that I was as pale as a ghost. I knew who my visitor was; it was Rosalie. _

_"Do you know someone that looks like that?" Alice asked me and I nodded._

_"Yes," my voice was barely a whisper. "She used to be my friend but now she is just one of the people that destroyed my life. I trusted her and she deceived me."_

_"I am so sorry. I can only imagine what that must feel like."_

_If Alice indeed has visions then Rosalie will be here this Saturday and she is not going to be happy. If Rosalie is the one who stole that letter then she knows that Edward and I have been writing to each other and if she knows then Dr. Cullen will know. There is no reason for her to not tell him what she knows, if she knows that is. I pray that Alice is wrong because if she is right… Nothing good would come from that visit. I know for a fact that a mad Rosalie is not pleasant – I have seen her mad and that time her anger wasn't even directed towards me but it was enough for me to know that you shouldn't make Rosalie Hale mad._

**A/N: I hope you liked my latest chapter. Please tell me if I should continue posting or not. Thank you for reading.**

**I will keep on writing my story on my computer but I will not post any more chapters unless you want me to. **

**Btw check out my favourite stories, some of them are really good and you really should read them. I am constantly amazed by how many great authors there is on this site. Some of them really should publish their own books.**

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	12. Chapter Twelve Twelfth Entrance

**A/N: I have just finished writing chapter twelve and I do hope you like it. This chapter was very hard for me to write and it didn't help that it's in the middle of the night here; I am very tired and so if it is sloppy written, that is why. I just wanted to post it for you guys.**

**Thank you so much for all of your reviews! -throws cookies- I love your reviews=)**

**I still do not own Twilight.**

**Behind Locked Doors**

Chapter Twelve Twelfth Entrance

_Dear nobody,_

_I am afraid to say that Alice was right. I did have a visitor this Saturday and that visitor was a certain blonde and she was indeed fuming. Her eyes were burning with anger and she was screaming at me. For the first time in my life I was afraid of Rosalie. That is one scary woman. If we had been alone then she would have attacked me and I wouldn't have won that fight. I am too weak._

_I was lying on my bed staring up at the ceiling when the door opened and I instantly sat up – I could feel Alice looking at me but I just stared at the caretaker standing in the doorway. I knew I was about to be taken to that little room with the wooden table and those uncomfortable chairs before he opened his mouth to speak._

_"Miss Swan," he started but I was already on my way over to the door. "You have a visitor," he finished slightly confused that I was already standing in front of him ready to go._

_As I sat there on that hard wooden chair my hands were all sweaty and I was biting my bottom lip so hard that I could feel the taste of blood in my mouth. I immediately stopped. It felt like an eternity until the door opened and the familiar blonde walked into the room. One look at her and you could clearly see that she was furious – she was one scary woman. She still looked beautiful; she always did, as she sat down across the table. At first she was polite; clearly fuming inside even though her lips were formed into a smile._

_"Hello Bella," she said._

_I wondered if I should speak or not and I decided that I would._

_"Hello Rosalie," I said and forced myself to look at her._

_Her dress was red today – blood red and she was hatless with her blonde hair flowing down her back. It was like she had been in a hurry and therefore she never did something with her hair. Rosalie almost never wore her hair down; she told me once that she though wearing her hair down was beneath her. Then she said that a real lady always looked perfect and that a well done hair was a part of that; 'you never let your hair flow wildly it is tacky', she told me._

_"I believe I have something that belongs to you," Rosalie said and stood up putting her black purse on the table, opening it and then taking out an envelope. It was of course the missing letter. _

_The smile on her lips was now gone and as she stared at me, her eyes glowing with fury as her lips formed into a hard line._

_"What the hell do you think you are doing writing to my husband?"_

_The two other people in the room were watching Rosalie as she started screaming at me and she glared at them before she unleashed her anger at me._

_"I have been nothing other than nice to you, Bella, but I cannot be nice to you when you go behind my back like this," she said with the letter in a firm grip in her hand shaking it in front of my face. "I don't understand you; how could you do this, Bella? He is my husband and not yours!" she screamed at me and I just stared at her._

_She continued screaming at me and the caretakers let her, I knew though that if I was about to start screaming as well I would soon be taken back to my room. I needed to say something though; I was so sick of this woman. _

_"What do you want me to say, Rose?" I said. "Fine, I will say it; I love him. You know I do and still you are standing here claiming that I have no right to contact him. He was my husband long before he was yours!" I wanted to scream but I forced myself to speak in a more normal tone._

_Rosalie laughed and then she started screaming again._

_"How dare you! We both know that what you and Edward had wasn't a real marriage, it was not even legit. You really are insane, Bella. This really is the right place for you; everyone knows it."_

_"And why wasn't my marriage legit, Rose? Whose fault was that? It was yours and you know it," I said glaring at her._

_The day I married Edward had been one of the best days in my life. Even though his family wasn't there and mine naturally wasn't either since I had no living relatives and there were only a few people there, my wedding had been truly wonderful. Edward's mother, Esme would have come to our wedding but her husband had forbidden her. After all I was not a suitable girl for their son to marry. Edward did not care what his father thought of me and of us – he wanted to marry me because he loved me, and so he did. I was so happy standing next to him at the altar. Rosalie, my best friend back then, had been my maid of honor and she had been a great help planning my tiny little wedding in a small church. The priest had been a friend to her family that she had known all her life. _

_"Did you really think that Dr. Cullen would have let his only son marry someone like you? You are no one, Bella. You are nothing."_

_I didn't say anything. Rosalie had finally stopped screaming now but her voice was ice cold._

_"You better stay away from him if you know what is best for you. Dr. Cullen is like a father to me and he doesn't know about your little letter yet, but if you do not stay away from Edward he will."_

_I swallowed. _

_"After all accidents easily happens my dear friend," she said quietly so that only I was able to hear it. "As I said – you are nothing."_

_Then Mrs. Cullen crumpled my letter into a ball in her fist and tossed it in my face._

**A/N: So there you have it, chapter 12. Did you like it? **

**I have a question for you guys; Do you want Jasper to make an appearance in my story?** **Kindly please tell me if you do=)**

**Reviews makes me smile;) It is true they do.**

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	13. Chapter Thirteen Thirteenth Entrance

**A/N: Thank you all for your reviews - it truly warms my heart. Thank you for reading my story. Here is chapter 13.**

**I do not own Twilight.**

**Behind Locked Doors**

Chapter Thirteen Thirteenth Entrance

_Dear nobody,_

_When I came back to the room Alice and I shared after the visit of Rosalie Hale Cullen Alice was staring at me._

_"Oh god, Bella, you are all pale," she said._

_"I just met a furious dragon," I said and sat down on my bed. I let the letter that I was holding fall down to the floor. _

_I felt tears falling down my face; I could finally cry. I had not wanted to let Rosalie see my tears._

_"Oh Alice," I said and I lay down on my bed hugging my knees as I silently cried._

_Alice sat down on my bed and patted my leg._

_"Do you…do you want to talk about it?" she asked me carefully._

_"Maybe later," I said quietly and Alice walked back over to her bed probably lying down on it. _

_"I'm sorry that I was right," Alice suddenly whispered._

_"Yeah," I said quietly. "How does that vision thing work anyways?"_

_I sat up and Alice walked over to my bed sitting down next to me._

_"It just comes to me," she said. "Out of nowhere I get a vision and almost always they come true. I see the future. It really sucks actually."_

_"So you just had a vision of me and Rosalie?" I asked looking at her._

_She shrugged._

_"Yeah and somehow I just knew that what I saw really was going to happen. So how bad was it?"_

_"It was really bad," I said biting my lip. "You see I was married to a guy but that guy is now married to my former friend, Rosalie – that blonde you saw, and he and I have been writing letters to each other and somehow Rosalie found one of them. She was so mad, I actually thought she was going to attack me and I truly believe that she would have if we had been alone."_

_"Oh," Alice said. "I am so sorry. If you don't mind me asking; how did she end up being married to your former husband?"_

_I sighed looking down at my scarred arms._

_"His father never did approve of me and he always wanted Edward, that's my former husband's name, and he always did approve of Rosalie seeing how she is from a respected and well rich family that is well known in the society. I am however not – I used to be an orphan. I thought Rose and I was friends, I trusted her and she stabbed me in the back. You see when Edward and I got married Rosalie was the one who helped me organizing our wedding – it was small but still wonderful and not many people was present. Still it was the best day of my life. Anyways Rose told me she knew a priest; she said he was a friend of her family and so he was the one marrying us. I did not know that Rosalie was planning, together with Edward's father of course, to destroy everything. It turned out that Rosalie's so called family friend was not even a real priest and it was all a sham. Edward and I, well our marriage was not even legit. Everything went downhill from that moment. For a brief moment I was happily married and then one day I just wasn't," I said with a bitter laugh, "I honestly thought I was going to get my happily ever after."_

_I was crying now and so Alice wanting to comfort me put her tiny arms around my small frame carefully hugging me._

_"Oh my god, Bella," she just said and I sniffled – tears falling down my cheeks._

_From that second I knew though that Alice truly was my friend._

**A/N: Writing fanfics is fun; I can write whatever I want to, however the story seems to have its own life -lol- Anyways I hope you all liked the chapter and that you still are liking the story. **

**Thank you for reading and please review.**

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	14. Chapter Fourteen Fourteenth Entrance

**A/N: Another chapter. I may not post more than one chapter every time though. Sometimes it's easy to write and sometimes it's not. This time it was fairly easy. Thank you for reading. Please review;)**

**I do not own Twilight, and I sadly never will. I just play with Stephenie Meyer's characters;)**

**Behind Locked Doors**

Chapter fourteen Fourteenth Entrance

_Dear nobody,_

_I know that today is a Saturday because I saw Edward today. _

_"Hello Bella," he said sitting down on the chair on the other side of the table._

_"Hi," I said quietly._

_He seemed more reserved than usual and I kept my hands under the table this time nervously fiddling with them. I was waiting for me to tell me that he could not visit me anymore._

_"I wasn't going to come here today," Edward confessed his green eyes looking at me. _

_"Oh," I said. "Then how come you did then?"_

_"I wanted to see you, Bella," he said simply. "I know that Rosalie were here."_

_"Yes she was and she was not happy – Edward she found that letter I wrote, the first one I think. I never checked which one but she tossed it at me before storming out of here…"_

_"I know," he said quietly. "Bella, I am so, so sorry for this. What did she say to you?"_

_I wanted to tell him, I wanted for him to know that she had threatened me but I just could not get the words to come out. Maybe it was for the best that he didn't know._

_"She just told me to stay away from you," I lied. I was lying to someone that I had told myself that I never was going to lie to, however this time it was necessary._

_"I see," Edward said thoughtfully, "Well if I want to see you or write to you that is my choice, I am my own man."_

_"Edward," I said sadly, "I do not think you should come here anymore."_

_His eyes were sad as he was looking at me shaking his head._

_"You don't mean that Bella," he said._

_"Yes I do," I said quietly fighting back the tears that was about to fall down my cheeks at any second. "You should not come here anymore."_

_"Bella, I still love you," he said tears forming in his eyes, "I do not love her; I never have loved her. My father…"_

_"No Edward," I said shaking my head at him, "You have to understand that you are married now – Rosalie is your wife, I am not. Coming here is wrong."_

_I fear for my life. I needed for him to not visit me anymore._

_"It hurts too much," I said to him, "You coming here to see me; it hurts Edward. I still love you but I will never be happy as long as you keep coming here," I lied._

_The thought of not seeing him broke my heart into pieces._

_"Bella," Edward said softly._

_"You are never going to leave her," I stated quietly, "And if you ever do it is not going to matter – I am in here for life. They don't let people out unless they are dead, I know that now. Do you honestly want to waste your life loving someone who is marked as insane by society? You need to let me go, go live your life with Rosalie."_

_I turned my head looking at one of the caretakers._

_"I would like for you to take me back to my room," I said to her._

_"Please Bella," Edward was begging me as I stood up, he reached out to touch my arm but I instantly pulled it back._

_"Goodbye Edward," I said and on my way back to my room I let the tears I had been keeping inside fall down my cheeks._

**A/N: Thank you so much for reading! Reviews makes me smile all day long;)**

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	15. Chapter Fifteen Fifteenth Entrance

**A/N: I finished writing chapter 15. Also since English isn't my first language I am aware of the fact that my grammar and spelling may not be that good. By the way this note is very sloppy written, I am too tired to think. Without further ado I give you my next chapter of Behind Locked Doors. Hope you like it.**

**I do not own Twilight.**

**Behind Locked Doors**

Chapter Fifteen Fifteenth Entrance

_Dear nobody,_

_I need to end this pain. It hurts too much. But how can I possibly end it all? I will never again see him. I will never again see the face of the man I love. _

_I cry during the days now and I cry during the night. I cry all the time. It just hurts so much. I asked him to not come anymore but even though I practically begged him to not visit me anymore I was still hoping he would. I want to see him. I wish to see him so badly. Yesterday I got a letter from him and I was reluctant to read it first but then I did read it and afterwards I felt even worse than before. _

**My Dearest Bella,**

**It saddens me when I think about that I never will see you again. I however felt the need to write to you; there are things that I need for you to know. **

**I did not want to marry Rosalie – you must know that, Bella. I never intended to become her husband nor did I want to. You see when my father finally told me that he had sent you away he also said that it was for my best interest to marry Rosalie Hale. I told him of course that you were my wife and he just laughed at that. You might wonder how I did end up marry Rosalie even though I clearly refused to. It is about you, Bella. I know how this must sound to you but I honestly did marry her for your sake. My father threatened me you see, saying that unless I married Rosalie you would end up getting hurt. If I cooperated he told me, you would be safe. I foolishly believed him – all I thought about was your safety. Alas I was indeed black mailed into marrying my wife. **

**I do not have any expectations of you writing back to me. You made it clear that you want no contact with me and I have to respect that. However I send you this letter because you should know why I am now a married man. **

**I wish you the best in life. I know that you believe that you will never leave the asylum however I think some day you will be a free woman. **

**Love always,**

**Edward**

_No matter how much I want to write him back I can't. _

_The fact that Edward was black mailed into marrying that woman angers me. Also the thought that Edward could have done something to prevent me from ending up here… We could have run away from it all – yet he chose to stay here. He should have done something; anything. He is no dimwit; surely he knew his father would have something up his sleeve. I don't know. I may be writing complete nonsense however I am not only sad right now as I am writing this; I am also angry and upset. I must not think about this anymore since this only gives me grieve._

_As soon as I finish writing this I am going to pray; I will pray to God for him to end this. All I want is for this nightmare to end. Please God help me get out of this place. Please God help me end this. I wish to be happy again. I still believe that death is my salvation._


	16. Chapter Sixteen Sixteenth Entrance

**A/N: Instead of sleeping I have been writing on my story, it is now 4 am... Well I finished chapter 16;) **

**Thank you so much for all the reviews; it warms my heart! You make me want to continue writing, don't worry I have no plans of abandoning my story. At least not in the near future, although I hope I won't stop writing. **

**Thank you for reading. Reviews makes me smile;)**

**I do not own Twilight. **

**Behind Locked Doors**

Chapter Sixteen Sixteenth Entrance

**Bella,**

**I am happy that you have not contacted my husband. It is for your best interest to stay away, after all. You may not believe me but I do not wish for you to be harmed. However I cherish those things that belong to me. **

**I see no future visit from myself necessary unless you contact Edward; then I will pay you a visit you will remember, I can assure you that. **

**This note is simply meant for you to be reminded who is in charge of your future. **

**Rosalie Hale Cullen**

_Dear nobody,_

_I was not particularly surprised when I received a little "note" from Mrs. Cullen. However her words do not frighten me – the fact that she is close to Dr. Cullen does. After all he is the one who is controlling my future; he decides whether I live or not. That man scares me. _

_Alice has told me more about herself now. To my surprise she told me that she is sixteen years old and I confessed that I thought of her to be younger than that. She said she is used to hearing that. Then she told me that before she came here she had a boyfriend. His name is Jasper and he was the one who visited her that time. After telling me a little about her boyfriend, Jasper Whitlock, she said that she wished to not talk about that time when he visited her and I respected that. I do respect that. There are after all things that I wish to not talk about._

_I miss Edward, but then again I always do. For a couple of days now I have been thinking about how it was before; when we met and such things. It hurts to think about the times when I was happy – it seems so long ago. _

_I remember the first time I saw him; he was standing on the other side of the street and I was standing next to Rosalie. Yes she knew him before I did; their families are pretty close after all. I remember how she did not want me to meet him but he still walked over to us. I was blushing furiously when I grabbed my tiny hand in his bigger one shaking it. I was barely able to speak to him. It was love at first sight but that I did not know until later. I remember these strange feelings inside of me; I had never been in love before so I was not sure what those feelings were. I wanted to see him again but no matter how much I tried to get Rosalie to get me to meet him again she refused to help me. He told me later that he too was trying to get her to help him meet me again and she refused him too. I think she was jealous. _

_Then he showed up at the orphanage and I remember sitting in the little garden with him. He took my hand in his and I blushed and then I asked "why are you here?" and he said that he wanted to see me. I was so happy to hear that. The fact that it took quite a long time before he kissed me didn't bother me; I was perfectly content with just holding hands. _

_Our first kiss was sweet and tender – I think it happened about a month after we started to see each other. Just before he had asked me if I would be his girlfriend and I accepted; I felt so happy. He made me so happy. He was the first to say I love you; I had wanted to say it for such a long time but I was afraid that he did not feel the same. _

_"I love you Isabella," he said smiling at me._

_My face broke into a huge smile._

_"I love you too," I said and then I surprised him by giving him a deep kiss. I was normally not the one to take initiatives. _

_I remember when he asked me to marry him… No this is too painful – I cannot think about this. I will fall apart. _

_I am now going to stop writing. Writing this makes me cry. Thank God that I have Alice when I fall down in the dark and I can't stop crying – she really is a true friend. I would say she is my best friend. I also know that she would never deceive me. I trust her. I would trust her with my life._

**A/N: Thank you again for reading!**

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	17. Chapter Seventeen Seventeenth Chapter

**A/N: I am not entirely happy with this chapter but I have decided to post it anyway. Sorry if my grammar and spelling isn't that good. I do try to do my best.**

**Reviews makes me happy, one tiny little review means so much to me. They truly make me smile. **

**I do not own Twilight. I do own my story though but not the characters in it; they all belong to Miss Meyer.**

**Behind Locked Doors**

Chapter Seventeen Seventeenth Entrance

_Dear nobody,_

_I got to shower today. It is so nice to be clean again. I asked the caretakers what date is was and they told me it is soon to be Christmas. I used to love Christmas when I was little. Even though my parents never had much money the holidays always felt sort of magical to me. Later at the orphanage Christmas never did feel special and neither did any of the other holidays. _

_I remember my last Christmas with my parents. They gave me a diary and a bunch of pencils – that diary is what I am writing in now. I really treasure it. I miss my parents so much. I used to go and visit their grave every year on the date that they died but I no longer can and it saddens me deeply. _

_This Christmas is already starting to feel like the worst one of my life – all because of one single letter. As I read that letter my world truly did fall apart. _

_"What's wrong? Who is that letter from?" Alice asked me._

_I was not able to get one single word out so I just handed her the letter, my hands were trembling and after I gave it to her I fell down in a pile on the hard floor. I didn't cry; I was unable to. _

_"Oh my god," Alice said as she read that dreadful letter, "She truly is a vile woman."_

**Dear Bella,**

**I have some very happy news to share with you. I am writing to you because I want to tell you myself, not that someone would tell you – you do nott get any visitors after all. Oh well, I feel I should tell you anyway.**

**My dreams are finally coming true! This is truly the best Christmas gift I have ever gotten. I am just so happy. I hope my news is going to make you happy as well. You see, my dear Bella, I am expecting a child. Yes that is right; Edward and I are going to have a family. We are both so excited over this.**

**Anyways, I just wanted for you to know. **

**I wish you a happy Christmas.**

**Sincerely,**

**Rosalie Hale Cullen**

_So Rosalie is going to be a mother. Life is so unfair; she has Edward and now she is going to have a family with him. Edward is going to be a father. I wonder if he truly is happy about this. After all a child should be a blessing. _

_Oh my pencil broke – I pressed it down to hard. _

_I do not see why Rosalie would think I would be happy for her sake – she knows very well that I love her husband still. She only sent that letter because she is as Alice said, a vile woman. If I ever get out of here Rosalie will regret what she has done to me; okay that might sound like a threat but I will never murder her or something. She is not worth the complications of me doing such thing and I am after all not evil. I could never take someone's life. However if I ever get out she will get a taste of her own medicine – somehow I will get to her. After all I know that woman pretty well. Maybe there is a way for me to ruin her social status? That would truly hurt her but then for me to be able to do something I have to be free from this hell hole. Oh how I wish that day would come._


	18. Chapter Eighteen Eighteenth Entrance

**A/N: I know it has been a very long time now since I last updated. I am suffering from a writer's block, I know where my story is going the problem is how to get there. I managed to finish chapter eighteen though, I hope you like it.**

**Thank you all for the reviews I get - it truly warms my heart! -throws chocolate chip cookies-**

**As Always I do NOT own Twilight or any of its characters - it all belongs to the talented Stephenie Meyer.**

**Behind Locked Doors**

Chapter Eighteen Eighteenth Entrance

_Dear nobody,_

_Another letter came today. It was from him._

**My Dearest Bella,**

**I know that I am not supposed to contact you. I know that I by writing you this letter am disrespecting your will. However I must tell you something as I wish for you to hear it from me and not from anybody else. **

**A child is a blessing and as I am to become a father I should indeed be happy. I am not though. I could never hate my child and I could never leave my son or daughter. It is with a heavy heart that I must tell you that Rosalie is expecting my child. I want you to know something though Bella, I have not slept in the same bed as Rosalie for a very long time. This angers her of course but what can she do about it? **

**I love you. Please know that…**

_I never finished reading that letter. I tore it apart as Alice gave me a very concerned look. I do not care that he is not happy that he is going to be a father – he should not have written me at all. Does he not see he is hurting me? He must be aware of that. I did write him back though even though I really should have not done that. _

**_Edward,_**

**_Stop sending me letters. You are hurting me; how can you not be aware of that?_**

**_I suppose I should congratulate you. Congratulations._**

**_Please respect my wish and stop trying to contact me. If you truly love me please leave me alone._**

**_Bella_**

_Why did he tell me about his sleeping arrangements? That was totally unnecessary for him to do. I do not wish to know things like that. However it does please me a bit that they are not sharing the same bed. Okay it pleases me a lot but still, the fact that I know about it does not change anything. Edward is never going to leave her now that she is pregnant with his child. I feel like I am slowly dying inside._

_God how I miss that man, it is hard for me to accept that he will never be mine again. Hope died when Rosalie told me that she is expecting. I will never have Edward – Rosalie has won. _

_I just want to die. Please God grant me my wish._

**A/N: Thank you for reading - I hope you like my story. If you like it please review=)**

**I will not abandon this story I promise!**

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	19. Chapter Nineteen Nineteenth Entrance

**A/N: I'm still suffering from writer's block but today I finished chapter 19 - I suddenly felt like writing a little and so I did. Last chapter not many of you reviewed so I felt a bit down about that but I will regardless not abandon my story. I do hope you'll enjoy this chapter even though it is a little short.**

**By the way I saw Breaking Dawn Part Two this Tuesday, I went to the Twilight Marathon and it was fun. I did like the last movie but I am not going to write anything about it since I am not someone to give out spoilers. Just go see it.**

**To those who reviews I thank you - I smile everytime I get a new one. **

**I still do not own Twilight.**

**Behind Locked Doors**

Chapter Nineteen Nineteenth Entrance

_Dear nobody,_

_I had a visitor today. Apparently he does not care about the fact that I told him that I do not want to have any contact with me. Does he want to hurt me? I knew it was him even before I saw him walk into that room and sit down on the other side of the table. Why did he come?_

_He tried to take my hands just like he had done all the other times he had visited me but I quickly put them under the table._

_"Do not touch me," I hissed._

_"Bella," he said softly._

_"Why did you come? I asked you to not contact me! Why won't you let me be?" I said almost choking at the words. I would start crying at any minute now; surely he could see that?_

_"I came because I cannot bear not seeing you or talking to you. Yes I am selfish as I am not respecting your wishes to leave you alone."_

_"Yes you are," I said crossing my arms over my chest as I lean back on my chair. I won't let him touch me._

_"I love you," Edward said quietly and my eyes widened at his words._

_"How dare you say such thing," I tried to remain calm even though I am fuming on the inside. "If you loved me you would leave me alone. You're hurting me. It hurts too much Edward," I whispered a tear falling down my cheek._

_"Bella," he said softly. "Please."_

_"Go home to your wife, Edward," I said looking down at the table blinking away my tears._

_He silently rose from the chair giving me one last look before leaving the room. I held my tears back until the door closed behind me and I was in the safety of my own room._

_"Bella," Alice said as she saw me but I violently shook my head before falling down in a pile on the floor shaking violently as my tears fell down my cheeks._

_I got a letter today but I have no idea who it is from and I have no address that I can reply to. This letter confuses me deeply._

**Dear Miss Swan,**

**I realize that you do not know me but I certainly know you. Although I never had the pleasure of meeting you I have heard others talk about you and that makes me feel like I know you. **

**You probably wonder who I am, and I am sorry but that I cannot tell you. Just call me a friend.**

**I only have one thing to tell you for now.**

**Do not lose hope. It is not his baby.**

**Sincerely, **

**Your secret friend**

_I have a 'secret friend'? Who? And what did the person mean when he or she wrote 'it is not his baby'? If it was true and Edward isn't the father of Rosalie's baby then how could that person possibly know that and why would he or she tell me?_

_I stared at the letter I held in my hands. I knew that I shouldn't but I suddenly felt hope and when I closed my eyes I was smiling for the first time in a very long time._

**A/N: Thank you for reading. I do hope you still like my story. Any guesses who Bella's 'secret friend' is?**

**Btw I got Tumblr so if you want to add me there send me a PM.**

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	20. Chapter Twenty Twentieth Entrance

**A/N: It might be a little short but here is Chapter 20. Thank you for reading, I hope you like it=) **

**(As you can see I have changed my Penname; I am no longer .Twilight)**

**Much love my darlings,**

**xoxo Play**

**I do not own Twilight.**

**Behind Locked Doors**

Chapter Twenty Twentieth Entrance

_Dear nobody,_

_There was a man here today, a man that I am possibly sure that I have never met before and I am not sure that I will meet him again._

_"Hello," he said when I sat down on the other side of the table. He was smiling and his eyes radiated warmth when they met mine._

_I looked down at my hands not saying anything. _

_"I'm afraid, Miss Swan that I cannot let you know my name just yet. You should know though that it was I that wrote that letter to you."_

_"Is there a reason for you to not tell me your name?"_

_"Yes there is and it will all be revealed in time."_

_"What did you mean when you wrote "it's not his baby"?"_

_The man in front of me sighed, "It is not Edward that is the father of Rosalie's baby."_

_My mouth opened to respond to what he just had said but he abruptly stood up._

_"Wait," I said as he walked over to the door. "Who is it then – who is the father to the baby?"_

_Without turning around to look at me the man said, "I am."_

_I feel so confused now. That man that was here, that refused to tell me who he is, claims to be the father of Rosalie's baby? Why did he tell me of all people? He must know that there's nothing I can do._

_"Bella," Alice said. "You look upset, did something happen? Who was it that came to see you earlier?"_

_I knew that Alice asking wasn't her being curious she was just being caring._

_"I don't know. He didn't tell me his name and I have never met him before today."_

_"Are you telling me that a man that you don't know, and that you've never even met before just came to this place to see you?"_

_"Yes and he told me something that, should it be true, could change everything. It could change it all."_

_"Would it be for better or for worse?" Alice asked._

_"If it's true and the right people finds out then it would be for the better."_

_I tried to smile at her._

_"You do not look happy though. If it's for the better shouldn't it be something positive for you?"_

_"It's just…I cannot let myself hope because if I do and it is not true then… The whole thing really is too good to be true anyway," I said sighing._

_I lay down on my bed curling myself into a ball trying to fall asleep._

_Before I fell asleep I heard Alice whisper, "I hope it is true."_

_So do I Alice, I thought as I drifted into the land of dreams._


End file.
